Snowballs in Hell
by Lvl2DragonTamer
Summary: Diplomacy failed. This is not a love story.
1. Epilogue

**1: Epilogue**

* * *

The door was ajar. _Not a good sign_, Anna thought, and knocked anyway. No answer. "Elsa?" Anna swallowed a note of panic and pushed open the door.

Elsa was sitting on the hearth, hugging her knees to her chest. A farce was playing out at her feet. A crystal woman six inches tall with Anna's dress was sitting at an ice table and sipping from an ice goblet, her tiny hands trembling slightly and her eyes wide. A skinny man in a sash pointed his finger at a glass doll with Elsa's hair. The doll chopped the air with her hand, and the diplomat fell down.

"Elsa?" Anna stepped over to the woman on the floor. "Elsa."

Flesh-and-blood Elsa untangled one of her hands and flicked her wrist. The statuettes disappeared in a puff of snow. "I shouldn't have insulted him back," she said. "I should have nodded and smiled when he called me a monster. I should have—should have made him laugh, should have opened the borders."

Anna knelt down on the hearth next to her sister. The fire was out. "We won the war, Elsa."

Her older sister leaned into the hug. "Yes," she murmured into Anna's shoulder, "we won the war."

"No casualties, Elsa."

"On our side, Anna. No casualties on our side."

* * *

_A/N: I'm writing a multichaptered fic and the world is ending._


	2. Month of Grass

**Day Eleven of the Month of Grass, the Second Year of the Reign of Queen Elsa**

* * *

"Okay, so what you do," Anna hooked a leg over the seat of the bike and crouched over the handlebars, "What you do is you just don't pedal once you pass the top step, and you keep yourself balanced. It's going to bump up and down a lot, and that's okay. You move with it."

Kristoff raised an eyebrow.

"Don't give me that look. It's easy, I can do it standing on one foot."

"Uh-huh." He dragged a hand back through his hair. "I don't want to get thrown out, Anna."

"I'm the princess, you'll be fine. Look, I'll show you." Anna craned her head over the banister. There was a servant dusting a suit of armor at the foot of the stairs. "Excuse me, miss!" The servant looked up and curtseyed. "Clear the steps! Important royal business!"

The servant's eyes only flicked to the bike edging over the staircase for a moment before resting again on Anna's face, to her credit. "Yes, your highness." She fled the room.

"Anna?" The princess held up a hand and wheeled the bike a few feet away from the first step. Kristoff ignored the gesture. "Are you sure you're not going to hurt yourself?"

"Ship sure," Anna closed her left eye, held out her thumb, and stared down the length of her arm at the banister. "I'll do it sitting down if you're that worried."

"That's not a phrase, what do you mean, 'ship'—"

"Charge!" Anna yelled, and kicked the bike over the top of the stairs. The bike hung for a moment, front wheel suspended over the uppermost step, and then plunged. It lurched in a new direction each time it hit a new stair and almost rammed into the suit of armor, but Anna twisted the handlebars and flung her weight to the side just in time to land on the rug. Two feet from Elsa. The bike tipped, but Anna managed to put her feet down before it could fall over. The queen clutched a piece of parchment to the front of her dress.

"Anna, can I speak with you in private? Matter of state. Good morning, Kristoff."

"Y—yes, of course. Kristoff, can you—"

Kristoff dipped his head. "Hello. I need to buy more feed for Sven anyway. Anna, I'll see you again before I leave."

They waved, and he disappeared somewhere behind the railing. "We'll use Father's study." Elsa turned and walked out the way she had came. Anna had to half-jog to keep up with her.

"You don't usually ask me about government stuff, what's going on?"

"The study," Elsa said again. A silence fell as they crossed the ballroom. It wasn't the silence of two friends. It was a door clanging shut, it was Anna struggling for something intelligent to say, Anna getting nervous and getting angry at herself for getting nervous, it was a voice saying _Why do you have to be so—_

"I didn't know you could do that, with the bike," Elsa turned her head and gave Anna a brief smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Impressive."

"Thanks." Anna smiled back, as best as she could manage. "I had a lot of time to practice."

It might have been the wrong thing to say, judging by the way Elsa's face visibly fell, but it was the truth.

Elsa's latched the study door behind them and tugged off her gloves. "Precautions, I'm sorry Anna." She stretched out her arms and a dome of crystal rose around them and the desk Anna could still only think of as Father's.

"It's okay, I don't mind."

Elsa closed her eyes and breathed out, slow. She handed Anna the parchment. "Hans has been exonerated from his crimes by his brothers."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"I don't know." Elsa sunk into a chair.

Anna flipped open the parchment, but none of the words would stick.

"The proclamation just says that he only ever acted in the best interests of the people," Elsa said. "Ours and theirs both. He must have lied his way out of it."

Anna put the letter back on the table. "So… what do we do?"

Elsa made a sound that was almost like laughing. "Do? It's an act of war, Anna, they might has well have awarded him a medal."

"We can't go to war."

"You're right, they outnumber us. Not by much, but enough to make an invasion impossible. We'd need to go by sea and find a place to land—"

"That's not what I meant. We can't send men to die over an insult," Anna said.

Elsa smiled. "This is why I love you, Anna." The queen reached out her hand, palm-up. Anna swallowed down—something—and gripped the outstretched hand. She was constantly waiting for the doors to start slamming in her face again, and struggling to figure out what to do with herself when they didn't. "The Southern Isles are powerful, Anna. And Weselton is furious over the embargo."

"Weselton?"

"The commoners here call it Weasel Town." Elsa breathed out. "Not just the Duke, the commoners. I have a report that they burned an effigy in one of the ports."

"An effigy?"

"Of the Witch Queen, it said." Elsa said, still smiling slightly. Anna gripped her hand tighter. "They depended on us for trade. I'm going to lift the ban, what do you think?"

Anna paused. "That sounds like a good idea. Better if they like us."

"I still need to run it by my advisors," Elsa let go of Anna's hand to brush back a strand of hair from her face. "But I think it's the best plan. I don't know whether it's worth responding to the Southern Isles."

"We should go lock him up ourselves."

"Don't joke, Anna."

The light rippled over Elsa's as if she were underwater. Her eyes were focused on something Anna couldn't see.

Anna was the one to speak up. "Hey, you got this, okay? You're like, the best queen ever."

Elsa smiled. "Thank you. And you are the best at bicycle rider."

Anna curtseyed, low. "At your service." Elsa giggled. When the princess stood up again, the dome was gone.

"I need to get together a meeting," Elsa brushed passed her and unlocked the door. "You should catch up with Kristoff before he leaves."

"Good luck," Anna said, but Elsa had already slipped into the hallway.

* * *

_A/N: I am writing a multichaptered fic and updating multiple times in a month, what._


	3. 4th of Flowers

**3: Day Four of the Month of Flowers, the Second Year in the Reign of Queen Elsa**

* * *

Anna mumbled to herself in her sleep. She drooled, too, and slept spread-eagled, one arm dangling over the edge of the bed. It should have made her look ridiculous, and it did, but it also didn't, and Elsa couldn't put her finger on the difference. Anna was so old now. They were both so old. It was a minor shock every time Elsa looked over and realized she wasn't still three feet tall.

The world swayed and Elsa unsuccessfully tried to fight down a wave of nausea. She heaved what was left of her stomach into a wooden pail, spat the last remnants of vomit out of her mouth, put the pail on the deck as far away from her as she dared. "You shouldn't have come, Anna." Ice coated Elsa's bed, the wall, the floor.

Anna slurred something unintelligible from the other side of the hold. Her voice was pitched lower than normal, and thick. Elsa's stomach swooped again. The ship dived. She made a mad grab for the bucket and just managed to pull it under her mouth in time.

"Ugh." Elsa flicked her fingers and the mess in the bucket froze over. It stopped the smell, which lessened the amount of times she needed to face the ship's crew and empty it over the hull. She had the strong suspicion that they would have started teasing her if they hadn't been so terrified. Or well-paid.

When she looked up, Anna was staring at her. Elsa dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry for the noise, Anna. You should get some rest." She kept her gaze fixed on the ice at the bottom of the bucket.

"No."

"What?"

"I needed to come." Anna pulled her arm back off the edge of the bed. Her fingers curled against her face. "You look terrible, Elsa."

"You didn't need to come. I can freeze water. I'm fine."

The ship lurched again, but Elsa's stomach managed to hold itself together.

"I like the sea. It's—it's like being rocked to sleep again." Anna patted her pallet. "Come on, I'll rub your back."

"I'll freeze you."

Anna just patted the covers again. "Think fuzzy thoughts."

Every step Elsa took across the ship step spawned an oversized snowflake on the floor. The queen pulled her braid over her shoulder and sank onto the pallet, her hands clasped together over her knees.

Anna's fingertips were soft, softer than Elsa was expecting, and warm, even through the nightgown. Elsa sighed.

"See? Frost is fading." Anna started rubbing circles across Elsa's back.

"Mm."

"This always helped, when Mother did it. For me. Back when I was a kid. Remember?"

"Not—not well."

"You didn't get sick?"

"I can't remember the last time either of them touched me."

Anna kept her hand pressed against Elsa's back, but she stopped moving. "What?"

"By the time I was eight the gloves weren't enough, on their own. I didn't want to hurt them."

"Elsa."

"Please don't stop," the queen whispered.

"...Okay." Anna traced small circles between Elsa's shoulderblades. "I know I couldn't really help, if we went under, but I just couldn't watch you sail off, too. Not after, you know."

Elsa tried to order her thoughts. Anna's thumb brushed the back of her neck. "I couldn't refuse. A ball to celebrate the renewal of our fiscal relationship. Shaky enough ground."

"You could have sent a dignitary?"

Elsa shook her head. "Nobody noble enough not to be insulting. Except for you. Didn't want you to go alone. Time of the trip is too short to use as an excuse. Four days from our coast to theirs."

Elsa focused on keeping her breathing steady. Everything was swaying.

"I wish you had let me in," Anna murmured. "I know you were worried about hurting me, but, I wish—"

"I know."

"Lay down, you're hard to reach."

Elsa considered protesting, couldn't quite get up the energy, and let Anna tug her onto the pallet instead. The younger girl briefly pressed her lips the back of Elsa's neck. _I'm really not used to this, the contact, _Elsa thought. And considered saying, but Anna spoke first.

"I'm sorry about your childhood, Elsa."

"You too," Elsa mumbled.

"I wish you had let me in. I know you were scared for me. But you keeping the door locked, that hurt too. Especially after our parents died."

"But you didn't die. That was worth it."

"It didn't have to be either/or. You don't even—you're my sister, Elsa, but in a lot of ways you're like a stranger."

Elsa rolled over. Anna's eyes gleamed wide. "Well," Elsa said, "we can get to know each other again?"

Anna nodded. "I'd like that. Roll over."

Elsa did. Later, she wouldn't remember who fell asleep first, but when she woke up it was with Anna's arm around her. She took her time getting out of bed.

* * *

**A/N: **_Chapter three: the fluffening. Reread it and caught some glitches I didn't edit out, that's what I get for publishing at 1 A.M. without sending it by a beta.  
_


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